


Could Love Me Like That

by PivioneBlanche



Category: One Direction (Band)
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-04-16
Updated: 2013-04-16
Packaged: 2017-12-08 16:06:30
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,547
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/763320
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/PivioneBlanche/pseuds/PivioneBlanche
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>They had plenty of time, until they ran out of it.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Could Love Me Like That

**Could Love Me Like That**

Nervous teeth biting soft lips, making the skin around the mouth earn a hue of red. His short dark hair was placed behind his ears countless times, trying to see better what he could already see clearly. Even a single lock of hair was disturbing him, taking his thoughts away from the most important thing for him at the moment. A decision he had to make. 

Shaking fingers trailed on the rough surface of the yellow envelope, touching once again the reason his life was destroyed. Results, numbers and cold examinations that were scarring his insides the same way that envelope was scratching his fingertips. Three weeks. Three weeks chickening out, so much time was lost when he could take advantage of it differently, instead of hiding between four walls. And now, that his time limit was short, he remembered how important time was to him. He was still hesitant, not knowing what to do or say. It was stupid, acting in the last minute, but there he was, thinking about it. Late or not, he should take it out.

“Still thinking?” a boy spoke gently behind him, startling him. His sharp face was frowning, his features expressing impatience. The fragile boy tried to speak, to protest, to excuse himself even, but the other cut him off.

“No more excuses, Zayn! Things are the way they are. There’s no reason to drown your feelings anymore, innit?”

Zayn nodded, shoving the envelope away. “I hate that thing…” he said with disgust. “I hate it so much, Liam…”

“Me too…” his best friend mumbled quietly, his eyes darkening. “But it’s a one-way road, so, you have to enjoy your ride as much as you can! And don’t be afraid to challenge yourself anymore. There’s nothing to lose, right?”

The boy winked at Zayn, trying to look as relaxed as he could. God, those days were a theatrical play for him, with Zayn as the main and tragic role.

“You are so strong…” Zayn commented, his voice hinting disappointment about himself.

_No, I am not… I’m afraid as you are…_

That’s what Liam wanted to answer, to let his unshed tears finally reveal themselves but instead he just smiled to the brunet. It was not time yet, tears should wait some more days…

“So, shall we do it?” Liam asked again while pointing at his camera, hopping that this time Zayn would give the right answer. The other boy sighed in defeat and smiled shyly. He would never win over Liam in this anyway, would he?

“Ok…” he surrendered, painting Liam’s face with a sweet smile. “But it’s futile, I tell you!”

Liam ignored him and prepared the camera as Zayn closed his eyes to gain the strength needed. A shaky breath was exhaled from his lips as he let his friend know he was ready.

“Just say whatever you feel like saying…” Liam said softly before he pressed the record button.

*****

The next day, late in the afternoon, Niall Horan was returning home from school. He had a troubled expression plastered on his face. Courses were hard, a surprise test in maths ruined his mood further and then here was this! He checked the item in his hands carefully. A medium sized white envelope, sealed tightly, addressed to his name and having one more line instructing him. “Open it at home.”

That was waking his curiosity even more. A love letter maybe? No, the envelope was heavy. He shook it gently, trying to guess any further. A present then? But why checking at home? His brows furrowed deeply, there was only one way to find out. By reaching his house as fast as he could, and that’s what he did.

He practically flew and locked himself in his room as soon as he arrived home. He had no more patience for this. He scratched the white paper and ripped it, taking out the CD it contained.

“Huh?” he wandered. Who the hell would send him a CD and for what reason? He now needed to know what was inside it, if there was anything, that is. But… what if it had a virus or what? He hesitated for a while. Oh, who cares! If he didn’t check, he would never know! Worries, questions and hunches, he shut all of them out of his mind as he turned his laptop on and loaded it in. A single file, a video. Niall felt sweat form on his forehead. That looked strange from any angle he could look at! Crazy ideas about stalkers came to life in his head as he clicked to play the file. Whatever that was, he would find out soon.

When the timer started counting on his screen, Niall froze. Nothing disgusting, strange or dangerous was there, just a boy his age, shy and beautiful, folding and unfolding his hands nervously as he was talking. A boy from his school, to be exact, a face Niall’s been missing.

“Hello…” the boy on the video said hesitantly. “I-I… You know me I guess, but I’ll introduce myself anyway!” a shy giggle, making Niall’s heart flutter inside his chest.

“My name is Zayn Malik, you already know that, but friends call me Zayn, so, Zayn it is… We were in a lot of the same classes for three years now. I… I love literature and art and I wanted to try hard and make my dreams come true. I love milk and chocolate ice cream, rainy days and cool summer nights. I hate spiders and insects generally, as much as waking up early in the morning. I am a heavy sleeper, I could sleep whole days if I could, haha!… Oh, the music! I forgot the music! I live for it; rhythm is my heartbeat and melody the blood in my veins! I play the bass, actually I’m pretty decent as my friend Liam says! I always dreamed of forming a band one day and charm everyone with music created by my heart! And dogs! I love dogs! I have one, and he is a precious friend since I was in grade school!”

Niall kept listening at Zayn’s non stop talking, learning many of the other’s likes, dislikes and interests. He couldn’t understand the reason of that strange message but he felt rather nice learning so much information about the boy. For three whole years Niall had been trying to build up the courage to learn those things about the boy personally, but he was too much of a coward for that. The way the frail boy was smiling or laughing when he was pronouncing wrong a word, wrinkling his nose and rubbing his face nervously, the kindness his eyes were mirroring, his embarrassment painting his cheek redder and redder as the video kept going on… All those things were adding to the total of that file, making it precious, priceless. Niall caught himself grinning amused at times. And he was feeling a warmth deep inside him, spreading in his whole body.

A small pause. Zayn stopped, gulping a few times and relaxing as much as he could, Niall could tell from the way he was hiding his face behind his palms. A deep breath before he started talking again, facing the camera serious this time.

“If…” Zayn on the screen coughed nervously. “If you are still watching the video, you should be wandering why I am telling you all these…” He closed his eyes, collecting his thoughts for one last time.

“Those three years… We live in the same town, go to the same school and classes, have some friends in common, yet we never said anything more than a ‘hello’… You were far away, so far that I could never reach you. I always wanted to get to know you, talk to you, but fate never helped me on that. I tried to reach you so many times but never seemed to be able to get a hold of you. In the end, ‘hello’ was the only word we ever exchanged, and I never got to know you… But at least you got to know me!” A chuckle. “And now, it’s time to learn one last thing about me.”

He stopped again, looking hesitantly somewhere behind the camera and then he nodded, leaning closer to the table he was sitting at.

“I’m in love with you, Niall…” he was nervous, so nervous. “I don’t know since when, maybe since the time I saw you in school for the first time, maybe later… What I know is that soon you’re the only one I can ever think about, and you don’t even have the same feelings for me. You were so popular right from the get go, there was no reason you would notice me and that’s ok…”

“Zayn hurry! The battery’s low!” another voice, also familiar, cut the boy mid-sentence.

“Oi, you’re ruining the moment!” Zayn pouted at whoever it was behind the camera, but focused again on what he was doing. “There’s no reason for you to answer if you don’t want to, I just needed to take it out, and enlighten my chest from that weight. I… I’ve been absent some weeks now due of an illness. I don’t have much time left. I wanted you to know, and now you do… “ There was a long pause as Zayn looked down and pick on his fingers before he finally sigh and looked straight to the camera one last time, “Goodbye, Niall…”

The screen went black, the video stopped, exactly as Niall stopped moving all the time that confession lasted. Every muscle on his body was stiff, unable to lean or stretch. His ears were buzzing, his vocal chords were broken and his eyes couldn’t see, though they were wide open. But his heart was in the worst condition, throbbing like mad, his eardrums bumping in its fast rhythm. Every breath was making the beats faster and in every move, his body was shaking nervously. What was all that? Did he understand Zayn’s words correctly? 

His hand finally moved to hit the desk violently. He was mad, with both Zayn and himself. Why did Zayn chose only that day to tell him that, after those three years? Why did he have to wait so long? Dammit! Niall was getting angrier with every second that passed. Why he himself had never talked to him more, approaching him? Zayn was well-known to be shy and quiet, Niall should’ve known better than to be such a wuss…and now Zayn was gone! A month now Zayn had been absent from school, Niall noticed right from the first day. He was glaring at the seats Zayn used to sit expectantly, waiting. Waiting till the fragile stunning boy would appear again. 

And those words of his…

_You don’t have the same feelings about me…_

Why the hell Zayn would assume that? How, when he never tried to get closer to him, to see how Niall stole glances any chance he got, to understand why Niall always smile the widest whenever Zayn smiles, how he loved that kind look in his hazel eyes, that low sweet voice greeting him? He was wrong! Totally wrong! All this time, Niall was drowning too! Drowning in a bottomless pool filled with emotions. The blond boy was suffering too from what he thought was a love that would never be returned. If only he would have spoken earlier…

Niall closed the laptop’s screen with an exhausted sigh, crossing his arms confused as he stared blankly on the desk. There’s no reason for you to answer if you don’t want to… His brows furrowed, because he wanted to answer, no matter what, no matter if it was late or not. Without losing any more time, he picked his phone, fumbling at the numbers in it. One way or another, he would find him. To give him the answer he deserved.

*****

An hour later, the car he took right out of the garage without permission brought him to a screeching halt in front of a local hospital, one that was close to their school. The last room on the third floor. That’s what Liam’s voice told him lowly when he finally found his number. He sounded sad, so sad and broken, and that made Niall’s steps bigger as he kept walking, climbing two steps at a time on his way up. Something felt wrong, a weight nestling on his chest so heavy, making breaths so difficult for him. An unreasonable fear was playing with his nerves, or maybe, it was not that unreasonable, if he would translate that fear into instinct. Something bad was going to happen. He just knew it.

By the time he arrived on the floor, people were rushing at the mentioned room. A woman was crying like mad and doctors were rushing to her side. She had eyes like Zayn’s, big and expressive. Niall never understood how his feet brought him closer, trembling and limping, or how he kept breathing while his breath was hitching. He pushed and cursed, his eyes meeting Liam who was crying rivers of regret, his eyes whispering him unspoken words.  _You’re too late…_

No! He couldn’t be late! He wouldn’t let time take this new found importance in his life before some last words, a final goodbye. 

An answer. 

Tears were fighting not to fall as he pleaded doctors to let him pass through, begging for just one look at the boy currently laying motionless on the bed. With the edge of his eyes, Niall could see him bumping on the bed, that disgusting beeping of his own heartbeat getting faster, rapid. He didn’t have much time left. Pushing the nurses away, he ran front, getting inside for mere moments, moments that were enough for a look at the fragile boy with the too pale skin, it used to be of such a beautiful colour, so different from his own. Zayn, the boy that never became his. 

Niall’s lips parted, forming syllables and words, his voice coming out loud in a scream, a low mourn of the things he was losing but he never actually possessed. Four words came out, each one paining his throat like a stabbing knife, but he didn’t care, as he was able to talk to him, for one last time.

“I love you too!”

A gasp. But than…

Silence. Deadly silence, though people were screaming and shouting, bumping on Niall and trying to shove him out of the way. But he was resisting, his eyes locked on Zayn’s deep dark eyes, calm and serene, happy. Satisfied. A smile spread on his lips, angelic, like he owned the whole world. And he did for those mere moments, before the small beats became a united creepy sound, before his eyes closed slowly to never open again. 

Niall finally cried, falling on his knees, begging for something that couldn’t happen anymore. He felt heavy, like iron was melting on his body, in his heart. But still, he was able to answer to Zayn, to let him hear those words he wanted to hear all along. And that was something, even if it was tiny…

 

“Time of death, 8 p.m.”

 

It was something…

**Author's Note:**

> Nothing much I guess. I hope you like it and comments are always welcome :)
> 
> Disclaimer: I own nothing.


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